Knowing Taavi...

Around bedtime last night, I finally started to feel some relief from this nasty stomach bug, and I was drinking every moment in as I peacefully lay falling asleep in my sweet husband's arms for the first time in many days.  But as I was laying there, I also felt this dull physical pain somewhere deep inside.  It wasn't anything alarming just one of those expected pains as I recover from this miscarriage, and yet it reminded me of the physical emptiness of my womb and the emotional pain I had pushed aside in order to make it through the physical difficulty's of the week.

As I lay there completely enjoying the comfort of my husband's tender embrace, suddenly the grief overwhelmed me and tears began to fill my eyes. I thought about this sweet baby and I thought of all that I will miss.  Most of all I miss the privilege of knowing this sweet child.  I will never know Taavi's sweet giggle. I will never know how Taavi likes his eggs.  I will also never know that special bond of feeling Taavi's soft skin against mine as I nurse him to sleep.  Taavi will never sit a our family dinner table making lots of noise with the rest of her siblings. I will never watch as the Taavi lightens up the entire room with his sweet silliness.  And I never even got to know her sweet kick against the side of my belly. I wanted to know this child.

But God knew Taavi. 

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee... Jeremiah 1:5 KJV


God knows Taavi.  And He created this child for His purpose.  This child IS a blessing.  


But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19:14 KJV


And someday I too will know Taavi.


How very softly 
you tiptoed into my world. 
Almost silently; 
Only a moment you stayed. 
But what an imprint 
Your footprints have left 
On our hearts. 
--Author Unknown