Facing uncertainity

I have shared many of my highs and lows here on this blog over the the past 4 years.  And so while this post isn't directly pertaining to Alegria, it still seems appropriate to share it here.

I was looking forward to sharing here soon that we are expecting again.  I was looking forward to describing how my emotions and reaction were so much different this time... after having lost Ali.  It was so very exciting to be blessed with another baby!

But last Thursday I started spotting.  I had hoped it was nothing at all and that the spotting would end as quickly as it had started, but despite taking it easy and taking supplemental herbs, it has continued.

After speaking with my midwife more than once this week, she thinks I likely have a subchorionic hemorrhage which means that the placenta has been slightly torn away from the uterus and a blood clot has formed in this spot. She is hopeful with lots of rest this will be able to heal and I will still be able to carry this baby. At only 8 weeks pregnant, there isn't a whole lot we can do other than rest and prayer.  If I am still bleeding next week, we will have an ultrasound so we can better assess the situation. 


This past week has been a rollercoaster- emotionally and physically. At one point I was so excited to be expecting again and just a short time later I was scared at facing losing another child. I feel terribly nauseous from morning sickness one moment and then the next I feel like I am beginning to miscarry.  Honestly at this point, only God knows what the outcome will be.  I have not actually miscarried yet that we know, but I am certainly at risk of miscarriage at this point.   I am trying to take one day at a time and not jump to conclusions.

Thankfully in God's providence Al had taken some already scheduled vacation time on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week.  We had made plans to go away for a long weekend to visit friends, but were unable to make arrangements for all the farm animals.  We had decided to use the time off to stay home and rest instead.  Modified bed rest wasn't quite what I had in mind :-) , but it has been such a blessing to have my husband here this week.  I am so thankful God's knows our needs and takes such good care of his children!  


Al goes back to work tomorrow and works this weekend too.  I would greatly appreciate your prayers for the baby and the rest of us this week. 

Jill