Our Empty Bedroom

Over the course of our marriage, 9 babies have slept in our bedroom.  Typically by the time of their first birthday, they move out of our bedroom and into one of the children's bedrooms.  Some earlier and some later.     Honestly I usually celebrate this time.  All of our children have actually slept better once moving out from our bedroom, and so this transition marks a time of uninterrupted sleep and solitude.

But Ali changed everything.  Sometime during Ali's life, our bedroom transformed from merely a place to sleep into a refuge, a place to rest and refreshment.  After the other children would head to bed, we would retreat to our bedroom with Ali.  Often Ali would play, smile, and laugh with us, as we spent time in bed watching a football or a movie.  We would talk to her and enjoy this special time alone together with her. I loved being able to look over and see Ali lying there in her crib playing or resting.  It was a treasured time.

After Ariel was born, she too joined in on this special time.  We treasured the time with our two sweet girls.  And after Ali died, we were left with just one baby to enjoy during our evenings alone.

During the last few weeks, Ariel has become a very light sleeper and begun waking up numerous times in the middle of the night.  None of us are sleeping well, and it really signals she is ready to move upstairs with her sisters. While I have mentioned making the move several times, I have been dragging my feet because this time, I'm not so eager to celebrate the newfound solitude.  It marks another first since Ali died; our bedroom is now empty.  And this time it hurts a bit.  It reminds me of those treasured times with Ali.  And I miss her.  I will also miss seeing Ariel's sweet smiling face peering over the crib rail to watch football with us.

Today her brothers moved Ariel's crib upstairs to the girls' room. Our sweetie baby Ariel is growing up.