Courageous?

My dear husband and I decided to make to make plans to go out on a nice date and enjoy some precious time alone together.  We are trying to do this more frequently, but still it only happens every few months.  My husband LOVES to go watch a movie and go out for an elegant dinner, so this last weekend he suggested we go to watch the movie "Courageous" while it was still in theaters.  I had heard and read numerous great reviews, so I was excited to get to watch it too.  I had been warned that it was a tear-jerker, and I vaguely knew that the storyline revolved around some tragedy or near-tragedy that caused the main characters to purpose to be better fathers, but I didn't really think through the possibilities of what that might mean...

(WARNING MOVIE SPOILERS AHEAD)

We settled in to the theater, and the movie started.  Even the first scene was full of action, drama, and emotion. The first scene paled in comparison though to what was going to come later, but the movie continued on from the opening scene innocently enough simply building the characters of 5 different men while giving you glimpses into their families and their work.  And then it came...

The panic, the rush to the hospital, the terrible news, the funeral...

And I sat in the theater wondering WHY had I chosen THIS movie.  All I had wanted was a nice relaxing night out with my husband.  And now I was flashing back to our own hospital scene.  Seeing the mother waling on the screen but feeling the memories of my own terrible wales that had emanated from somewhere deep inside me.  Seeing her embracing her husband in the hallway, but thinking of my own pain as I stood clinging to my husband beside the bed of our dying daughter.

All those painful memories... THAT was not where I wanted to be last Saturday night.  I started to check out emotionally.  I DID NOT WANT TO FEEL THESE FEELINGS!  This was not my idea of a pleasant date night!

The movie showed the pain and the struggles so vividly.  I heard the father pouring out his doubts and fears, and they were many of the same words I had heard from my husband just a few months ago.  I worried that this movie would be too painful for Al too.

Quickly (almost unconsciously) I began to silently pour out my heart to God. And I realized that He had purposed us to come to this movie tonight.  And that He had this too all under control.  I prayed that God would calm me down and allow me to watch the movie.  I prayed that He would use it for His purpose.

The entire movie was packed full of high emotion and high drama.  One of the most memorable quotes for me from the movie was "You can choose to be angry over the time you didn't get to spend with your daughter or you can choose to be thankful for the time you did!"  This is certainly a lesson God continually reminds me and it is so true!!!

As we watched Courageous, tears flowed down my cheeks at more scenes than I could count.  But the message was a great one.  We as parents need to make the most of each and every day that God gives us with our children.  We do not want to squander away the precious time we have with them.  These verses sum it up even better...

Deuteronomy 11:18-19  Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes.  And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

On the way to dinner, Al and I talked about the movie.  We shared a very candid and intimate conversation as we processed through our thoughts, emotions, and struggles.  I certainly shed a few more tears, but yet it was a very encouraging time.  We were both thankful to have seen the movie, and we were both thankful for the lessons God is teaching us amidst this grief.  God has taught us so much in these past months.  May God continue to use the story and memory of our sweet Ali to grow us and mold us in His image.  May He also use those lessons to continually make us better parents.

After the emotions and tears subsided, we headed to the restaurant. We both thoroughly enjoyed our dinner at Bonefish Grill.  It was absolutely delicious and the time spent together was so very refreshing.  I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and I thank God for such precious time He allows us to spend together!  I am also very grateful for the way in which God continually draws us closer both to Him and one another!