The Hand of God - Part 7 - The End of the Beginning

We told the children the hard news first thing in the morning.  The girls were very emotional and the boys were painfully stoic.  They struggled with it individually each in there own way over the next weeks and months.

One of the hardest parts was coming home without Ali.  It was extremely emotional.  We turned on the local Christian radio station while we did the necessary clean up chores around the house.  The song "Blessings" by Laura Story came on the station.  I had never heard it before.  I broke down as I listened to the words seemingly written for me that day...

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise.

As we prepared for the funeral so very many people reached out to us in our grief.  I wish I could remember each and every detail, but unfortunately I can not.

There was a compassionate clerk at Burlington Coat Factory who helped me when I was totally overwhelmed looking for accessories for Alegria's funeral dress.  I didn't even get her name.  

My aunt and uncle made special arrangements with the monks at Abbey Caskets to have a specially made casket for Alegria.  Ali needed a casket only slightly larger than infant casket.  They custom made one just for her.  And it was perfect!

A phone call to our hospital Financial Counselor Marcia ended up being about 2 minutes of business talk and the next twenty minutes was spent talking about Ali.  Marcia told me how much Alegria and our family had touched her heart over the 27 months she had worked with us on medical bills.  She told us how sorry she was for our family's loss and afterwards she took care of negotiating an another amazing discount on our large self-pay hospital bill.

Our church brought meals and ministered to us in innumerable ways.

The funeral home cut their cost significantly because it was a child's death.  And then the funeral costs were completely taken care of by a donor who wished to remain anonymous.

The folks at Samaritan Ministries took up a collection and sent us a generous gift to help us cover our Samaritan share over the next few months.

We received an anonymous gift in the mail from a family we had never met who had heard about Alegria through an internet friend.

We received cards, emails, and prayers from literally all across the country.  Friends came to the viewing and funeral that we hadn't seen for  years.

As I said at the beginning of this series, looking back we have seen God's hand at work in all the details and that has brought us great comfort amidst this hard trial.  God removed every single one of my fears.  
I worried that she would die at home and I would be unable to help her.  Instead God orchestrated the details so that she died in the PICU where she was under the care of great medical personnel.

I worried about being pressured to remove life support.  Instead God worked out the details so that we never even received the EEG results.  Looking back, it was probably a blessing that I wasn't allowed to even watch the EEG.

I worried that the doctors and nurses might withhold care from her because they wouldn't understand how valuable her life truly was.  Instead God blessed us with an amazingly compassionate nurse Brittany and in the end Al and I watched as the entire team fought long and hard to save Alegria.

I worried that I might be blamed for her death by myself, my husband, or the medical personnel.  Instead God brought 2 doctors I highly respected to tell me what a great job I had done in caring for Ali.

I worried how our marriage would survive this great loss and pain.  But in God's grace we are closer now than ever before.

When the moments come when I struggle, I always try to focus on the blessing of the 27 months we got to spend with Ali here on this earth.  Sadly many parents of children with trisomy 13 do not get weeks or even months with their children.  We were blessed to get over 2 years with our amazing Alegria.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.