This past week was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. It has been some of the highest highs and lowest lows I have experienced since Alegria past away in May.
Let me start by saying that the party was absolutely beautiful. I am so very thankful for all the family and friends that came to celebrate with us. It was an enormous blessing and was certainly the highlight of the week. I want to devote an entire post to sharing more about the party... but this post is on the opposite side of the emotional spectrum.
This post is more gritty and brutally honest. The emotions of the past week have been TOUGH. I was honestly a bit blindsided by them.
Some of the stupidest, most trivial things have been utterly overwhelming. And I have really struggled to cope. I almost had a melt down in the middle of Walmart over whether or not to buy sausage for the party.
Subconsciously I think I was trying to avoid and ignore the grief again by burying myself in the busyness of all the preparations. But grief is not easily pushed to the side and eventually it erupts like a volcano.
Yesterday I was utterly exhausted and completely spent; by last night all of those emotions collided and I broke down sobbing in my husband's arms. It was good to finally let it all out. I am so thankful for the loving, gentle, and compassionate husband with which God has blessed me. He is such an immense blessing.
I was reminded yet once again that I have been try to manage in my own strength (when will I ever learn?!?)
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Last night my sweet husband reminded me that "His mercies are new every morning." I woke up this morning with that verse running through my mind. Praise God that His mercies are certainly new each morning!
Today I instead of being anxious and overwhelmed, I rested in Him and once again I tasted that peace which passeth all understanding.
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